Only Her
by mipela
Summary: We must always hope.
1. Chapter 1

**Only Her**

Caroline arrived at the farm, as she switched the engine off she lay her head back against the headrest and allowed her eyes to close. She and a very pregnant Kate had been here only weeks before. Kate loved the moors and the fresh air and the feeling of freedom the visits brought to her.

Kate rolled down the window; "just breathe that Caroline, feel the wind on your face, smell the clean air it's so lovely."

Caroline shook her head and tried to clear the image from her eyes. She got out of the car and lifted the baby capsule out, looking at the tiny, vulnerable human being that was her daughter, lying asleep, causing her to feel the stinging salty tears that came so readily these days.

Gillian came out to meet her and after hugging her tightly, relieved her of the capsule and ushered her inside.

Robbie took Flora and headed out to the farm to give the two women some time together. They sat at either side of the kitchen table, peeling vegetables for the family lunch; something, that under any other circumstances would have been mundane. However, today Gillian was determined to try to take Caroline's mind away from the pain and trauma that was ever present. Just looking at Flora brought it all back; she looked so much like her mother, she was glad Robbie, the ever gentle and reliable, had taken that distraction outside.

"Tell me about when you first met Kate. I don't really know the story; but you know,only if you feel like it."

"Oh, she met me really. She happened to notice that I was struggling with something personal and had the courage to step in to my very private space and offer friendship and support. Not many people do that, I'm such a snotty bitch after all."

Gillian smiled and then looked at the table for a few moments. "So when did you two start, you know, something else?"

"It was after my mum and Alan got lost, that night and the next morning, apart from worrying about them, all I kept thinking was 'Life's too short'; I'd begun to have feelings for her, but I was afraid to let it go anywhere. When I got home the next day, I told John I was seeing someone; he went mental of course; then I went to work for a few hours; I couldn't wait to tell Kate how I felt, I called her in to my office and left her in no doubt that I wanted her."

"Right there in your office? Jesus Caroline."

"I know; snogging like mad, I wanted her so much, I even put my hand inside, you know erm, her bra; all that with my secretary about to walk in with a cup of tea; I didn't care." She stopped as if to savour the memory, a little smile crinkling the edges of her mouth. "I just wanted her to know that I felt that way. You know when you rang me to ask about my mother's knickers, we were at Kate's just about to make love for the first time." "O God, that was bad timing on my part; sorry Caroline."

"Actually it was good; we both had a laugh about it which made us more relaxed." Caroline looked up and began to stare out of the window, her eyes glazed over. It was clear she'd submerged herself once more in the memories of her loving with Kate. Slowly she turned to Gillian; "It was so beautiful, like someone had touched me inside with light and warmth and magic. I'd never felt that before, ever, in my whole life."

"Wow, I'm not sure I ever have. When I looked at you two in the past, I often felt jealous of what I saw."

"Well, it's all academic now..." her voice trailed off.

"I remember you two falling out, well not the actual thing, but how miserable you were. What the hell happened?"

"Oh, mostly me and my dysfunctional family; the bottom line is that Kate was ready to move into a full blown public relationship, start a family and make it all forever. I wasn't. I led her on thinking that it was what I wanted, but it was mostly on my terms. She eventually just had enough I guess and what with the debacle on our weekend away I told you about, she ended it.

We said some terrible things to each other. Things we can never take back. None of us should do that. You never know what life is going to throw at you."

The tears began to fall again and Gillian sat quietly peeling and chopping. Caroline left the table and walked over to the window, she stared out at the rolling hills; she felt Kate's hand in hers as she'd always done when they went for a walk together here. It was painful but comforting.

Eventually the rest of the family arrived and the room buzzed with conversation. Flora was passed from person to person. They were all trying in their own ways to distract Caroline and give her space to escape her weary heart and continuous pain. The accident was a topic that had been 'off limits' for everyone for the last couple of weeks. The afternoon went pleasantly; she was glad of the company but her heart and spirit were not there; she knew where she needed to be.

The next morning, she walked purposefully down the now all too familiar corridors. As she approached Room 106 her heart began its usual flutter; which turned all too quickly to full pounding. She looked in through the window and saw Kate's cousin David; black stubble covered his face, testament to the day and night he had spent watching over her unconscious wife.

"Thanks so much David. It was so kind of you to stay here and give me a break. Any change?"

"No Caroline, I'm sorry. I've been talking to her, reminding her of the days we spent together at our grandparents. We were more like brother and sister actually." His eyes welled up with tears as he spoke. "We have to keep faith Caroline and have hope." He kissed her and left the room.

Caroline leant into the bed and kissed Kate and then began her daily ritual of telling her about Flora. Moments later the intensive care specialist came in to the room and motioned for her to come outside and into his office.

"Please sit down Caroline, we need to talk."

This was an all too familiar picture and conversation; she could feel herself sinking back into the abject fear and pain she had felt when the emergency doctor had asked her to step into his office; her new wife lying battered and probably dying; her new daughter in an incubator after having been ripped from her mother.

"The next forty eight hours will be critical Caroline, we are going to start to withdraw the sedation gradually; we want to try and wake Kate up. Only then will we truly know whether she has the capacity to live and what her quality of life will be like."

She nodded. There was nothing to say. No question she hadn't already asked. No stone that had been left unturned.

"You do understand the enormity of this don't you Caroline? If she can't breathe for herself, we then need to make a serious decision about whether or not to put her back on the ventilator."

A tiny, quiet fragile voice; "Yes, I do, but I can't lose her. She's the only person I and Flora, our daughter, can be fully alive for; only her." The doctor gently stroked her arm and assured her that they would continue to do everything they could.

She sat in the large armchair at the side of her wife's bed; pulling her arms tightly across her stomach as if to provide support for the weight of aching pain and fear that was building inside her body. The medical staff worked quietly with great respect and dignity. She watched every action they performed, carefully studying Kate's face for even the slightest flicker. The minutes turned into hours as she sat and looked, occasionally there would be a slight twitch or tremor, but the nurse would look sympathetically at her and gently shake her head.

Family and friends had offered to be there, to replace her for a couple of hours. Caroline had politely refused. This was life and death. She craved the moment the woman she loved beyond words, would open her eyes and see her. She wanted to be there holding her, if she was to die. Either way it was an intimate moment, so sacred, that was reserved only for the two of them.

As the morning light began to filter into the room, the doctor and two nurses came in. "Caroline, Kate's sedation is lifted to the point where we will try removing the ventilator. Are you ready?"

"Can you just give me five minutes?"

She left and went to the bathroom. She washed her face, combed her hair, and even cleaned her teeth. When Kate woke up, she had to be looking her best. The woman looking back at her in the mirror was pale and drawn; there were never before seen bags under her eyes. She had to at least try and make an effort.

She walked back into the room. Leaning over the bed she stroked Kate's face and kissed her gently and tenderly. She needed to feel her while there was still life in her body. She whispered "I love you with my whole being, forever, no matter what, but we need you; we need you to wake up my darling."

The nurse put her arms around Caroline's shoulder and guided her back to the chair.

The doctor then set about removing the ventilator. There was a reflex choking as the tube was gently pulled out of her seemingly lifeless body. Everyone's eyes remained fastened to the monitor. There was a flat line running across the screen. Caroline let out a piercing scream of agony. She felt in that moment that someone had driven a dagger into her heart.

Then, there was a cough, a small almost imperceptible cough. A heartbeat began to run across the monitor. Relief flooded every cell, every molecule in the room. No one moved. The hot stinging tears poured down Caroline's face; she wasn't sure in that moment what they were for. No one was. Everyone stared and waited. Slowly as the heartbeat continued, shoulders and fists began to unclench; folk started to look at each other, tentatively but hopefully.

Kate continued to breathe. Her vital signs were weak but none the less continuous. Caroline asked what would happen next. "We wait, that's all, just wait."

Standing in the corridor, she pulled her phone out. She could barely find the numbers her hands were shaking so much. She rang her mother and Kate's mother. "I don't know yet if it really is good news, no one does, but she's still breathing." Was all she could manage through the tears and agony; "I have to go now, I need to be there when she wakes up."


	2. Chapter 2

**Only Her – Chapter Two**

"Oh, and did I tell you that Flora had a bit of a fever last night? Nothing to worry about, a cool bath and a little bit of children's Panadol and she settled again. I don't want you to worry about her she's doing so well and is excited about you getting better. She kicks her legs when I mention your name.

After I got her settled, I went to bed early. I still hate going to bed, I hate the empty space where you should be. I've tried putting your pillow there to hug, I even put some of your perfume on it; it doesn't work; nothing works. Sometimes I just lie there and imagine you holding me and whispering all kinds of sexy, cheeky, funny things. I can laugh, you can still make me laugh; but mostly I just ache. It's nice to have Flora's crib right beside me, it comforts both of us and when I look at her, I see you."

Caroline held on to Kate's hand tightly and waited. All she had seemed to do for days was wait, until a couple of days ago, when Kate's eyes fluttered slightly as she began to talk about Flora. The nurse had been in the room at the time and noticed it too; she assured her it was a good sign.

Caroline had spoken to the doctor about what she could do to help. He had sent the physiotherapist to see her and she had shown her how to do some gentle exercise, stretching Kate's muscles, she also suggested that in a couple of days Caroline might bring the baby in and lay her on Kate's chest, or put her in her arms. At last she felt she could actually do something other than just sit and talk.

"Kate darling, my mum's bringing Flora in this afternoon; she's coming to see her mummy. She's longing to be close to you."

She continued to stroke Kate's hand, occasionally lifting it to her mouth and peppering it with kisses. Suddenly, she saw Kate's lips move; she leaned in closer and was just able to hear the tiniest sound, "Baby."

"O God, yes Kate, our baby, your baby, she's coming to see you today." Tears of pure relief flooded down Caroline's face; when the nurse came in she told her what had happened and the nurse went to fetch the doctor. The doctor did his usual round of testing, tapping Kate's feet and knees, checking the monitor for changes in her vital signs. He leant over Kate and asked her to blink if she could hear him; nothing. He asked again and this time there was a short movement from both eyes.

"This is good Caroline, her blood pressure is rising, slowly, but none the less rising. Her oxygen levels are better, with a little help. We should be quietly optimistic."

She just nodded at the doctor and then tried to come to terms with the rising tide of fear she felt. What if they were just patronising her; what if this was all in her imagination; all the 'what ifs' hit her like a brick. She had been in this place before when they had first told her Kate was not dead, but there wasn't much hope.

When the staff left the room, she climbed on to the bed beside her wife. The doctors had agreed that now there wasn't so much vital machinery to dislodge or interfere with, she was ok to do that. She gently lifted Kate's head and put her arm around her, putting her in a comfortable position on her chest. She stroked her head and face gently and kissed her forehead. Kate's head was swathed in bandages which covered a special cap; they had taken a three by three centimetre piece of skull out to allow the swelling in her brain to be relieved. It would be put back once it subsided. Only then would the extent of any brain damage be obvious. However, they had also told Caroline that this was a 'moderate' swelling .They had seen and dealt with more severe cases, hence there was room for optimism.

"I love you. I know you know that but I just have to keep telling you. I don't want you to ever doubt me. You feel good, warm; so delicious. Do you realise we've been married nearly two months, and I'm not tired of you yet. I hope you're not getting tired of me, I have been ear bashing you a lot these past few weeks."

Kate's fingers moved against Caroline's arm; slightly; but no mistake.

A couple of hours later, Gillian arrived with Flora. "I thought my mum was bringing her?"

"Sorry Caroline, I asked if I could, I wanted to see you and see Kate."

"Oh that's fine, it's good to see you again." She reached out and hugged her step-sister. Flora lay peacefully asleep in her capsule.

Gillian had been wonderful since the accident. She was ready at the drop of a hat to help Caroline any time she needed her. They had done a lot of talking in the hours of loneliness. She often popped in to the hospital and shoved her out to get a walk and something to eat.

"I'm going to put Flora on Kate's chest now so that they can feel each other." She told Gillian about Kate mouthing 'baby', whose eyes welled up, which was something Caroline rarely saw. "Do you want me to leave the room?"

"No, of course not."

Caroline carefully undid Kate's gown at the back and brought it down to her waist. Gillian looked away, she felt strangely embarrassed and a bit voyeuristic. Caroline lifted Flora out of her capsule and took off her clothes, leaving only her nappy on. She then carefully placed her onto Kate's bare skin and lifted her mother's arms and put them around her. The baby snuffled and rubbed her face against Kate.

Both women were riveted to this scene of such profound beauty and pathos. Suddenly Kate's eyes flickered and they opened briefly, looking down at her child and then at her wife. Caroline felt she was being sucked into Kate's soul at that moment. They held their gaze for a few seconds and then she closed her eyes again. She fell into Gillian's arms and sobbed.

After ten minutes or so and when she had regained her composure, she tried to gently lift Flora off Kate. It wasn't going to happen any time soon! Kate didn't release her. Her hands were firmly gripped around her little one. Gillian picked up Flora's blanket and draped it over her. Caroline watched, taking in this amazing scene; she had begged the heavens night and day for Kate to at least know she had a child, a healthy beautiful child, that she was someone's mum.

The nurse came in at this point and Caroline explained all that had happened.

"This is truly a good sign; try to trust the process, you will see these small improvements day by day and maybe some days nothing; that's when you need to be brave."

After half an hour, Flora became grizzly. "She's ready for her bottle. God how I wish I could just attach her to Kate and she could feed from her mother and have that wonderful bonding."

"Caroline, you could just try to put her to Kate's breast and see if she sucks. There won't be any milk, but it would be like a dummy wouldn't it?" Gillian posed this very gently and tentatively.

"I don't know. I don't know what to do." The tears welled up as Flora was now in full voice crying for her feed. Caroline went to lift her from Kate and the mother's hands that had seconds before held her so tightly, released their grip. She knew. Kate knew exactly what was going on.

The days passed and each one brought more and more signs of life. Kate's eyes stayed open longer, she responded to the exercises Caroline and the physiotherapists did each day. She clung to Flora when Caroline lifted her on to Kate's chest. But for Caroline, it was slow; she was willing her wife to move on as quickly as possible. Patience was not one of her virtues. The one thing she longed for more than anything was to hear Kate say her name.

More people came to sit with Kate now, Caroline felt that the danger of her dying while she wasn't there, had passed. They couldn't give her a cast iron guarantee of that, but Caroline knew deep in her soul that her wife would live now. She didn't have a second thought about taking care of her for the rest of her life, however that life might be.

Flora started to get grizzly again. "Feed time my darling" she said as she lifted her from Kate's tummy. As she did, Kate's eyes flickered open and she fixed her gaze, not on her baby but on her wife. "Caroline." Not loud, but stronger than any other word she had so far uttered. Then her eyes closed again.

In a heartbeat, Caroline picked up Flora's bottle and then climbed on to the bed beside Kate. She put their daughter in between them and gently put the bottle to her mouth. Flora began to guzzle and kick with excitement; she stroked her wife's face and kissed her mouth over and over. She could swear she felt Kate's lips respond. This was the day she had been longing for. Her wife knew her; she saw and recognised the woman she loved. Whatever on-going injuries she may have, at least they could connect; they could whisper each other's names. She felt her body stirring as she lay close to Kate and heard that soft word; 'Caroline'; playing over and over in her head.

Gillian was taking over at the hospital for the day. Caroline had to go to Sulgrave for an urgent meeting with the board about her on-going leave. They had come up with a package for her based on trying to keep her. She had handed in her resignation a month earlier citing the need to take care of her wife and baby. They were not about to lose her and had called her in to support her and offer her the chance to take more leave. She was very moved by their offer.

Gillian walked into Room 106 and was shocked by what she saw. Kate was raised up on extra pillows and her eyes were opening and shutting at regular interview. She looked up as Gillian walked in and stared long at her; it was as if she was trying to remember her name.

"Hi Kate, good to see you sitting up; can you remember my name?"

Kate smiled and nodded. Then she turned her head and looked at the baby capsule. "Oh, would you like to hold Flora now?" Kate nodded again. Gillian felt she couldn't undue Kate's gown and pull it down, it just felt wrong; too intimate. So she lifted Flora up and put her in the crook of Kate's arm. She watched Kate respond and tighten her grip.

"Caroline is at Sulgrave today Kate. She's gone to see the Board about extending her leave. She put in her resignation, but they didn't want to accept it. She's too valuable apparently. You know she told them that nothing was more important to her than you and Flora. Yea, she made that very clear to them. She adores you, you know that of course, but we can all see it too. It's lovely. I told her the other day, it's not something i think I've ever felt."

Kate smiled. Gillian stopped talking. They all just rested in each other's company, Gillian, Kate and Flora.

Caroline walked into room 106 as the light faded for the day. Gillian had taken Flora home and offered to bath her and put her to bed while Caroline had a couple of hours with Kate. The nurse had just brought in a basin and towel to give Kate her sponge bath.

"Could I do that?" she asked tentatively. "Yes love of course if you'd like to. Just give me a call when you need to roll her, don't try to do that on your own."

"Ok thanks, I will."

Caroline gently removed Kate's gown and began to wash her upper body. It reminded her of the times they would lie in the bath together or shower together, the utter sensuous feeling of washing each other. It seemed so sacred this evening. Kate opened her eyes and smiled at her. They kissed and then as had become a regular highlight of Caroline's day, Kate whispered, "Caroline." Tonight there was an extra thrill, the words, "I love you".

"Oh Kate, my darling, I love you too."

Caroline thought she would burst with relief and happiness. She continued to wash Kate and after the nurse had been in and helped, she climbed on to the bed and put off the room light, leaving only the gentle night light to bathe them. She kissed Kate and then snuggled her head into her breast. She felt safe, more than she had for months.

A while later, she felt someone gently stroking her arm, "Caroline, Caroline; wake up."

She stirred and re-oriented herself to the room. The nurse then suggested it was late and she needed to get home to bed and to her baby.

"Thanks," she whispered. Looking at her watch she said," Oh my God, poor Gillian." It was eight thirty.

She gave Kate one last kiss and then left.


	3. Chapter 3

**Only Her – Chapter Three**

 _Thank you all for your lovely reviews, PMs and encouragement._

After loading Flora and all her paraphernalia into the car, Caroline dashed back in to the house to pick up her handbag and the opened parcel on the hall stand. She was hurrying to get to the hospital. Kate was to go back to theatre today to get the piece of skull that had been removed, replaced. The swelling had almost completely gone and they wanted to put it back to avoid infection. The team had spoken at length to Caroline about the operation, describing in great detail what would happen and also spelling out all the attendant risks. She had listened carefully and tried to take it all in; all she could remember however were the words 'small risk of stroke' – these words had gone through her and made her shudder. Kate had been making slow but very steady progress and although Caroline didn't see it as much, those who came intermittently were pleasantly surprised at how well she was doing.

"Are you right darling?" she called over her shoulder to the baby, who of course couldn't answer; "Mummy's got a big day today and we need to see her before she goes on her adventure, don't we chicken?"

Kate was sitting up when they walked into the room. Their eyes met and there was the familiar look of tenderness that passed between them; even on days when Kate couldn't speak, she always managed to convey her love to Caroline and Flora.

After a lingering kiss, Caroline plonked Flora into Kate's arms and sat beside the bed. "Oh guess what, a small parcel arrived from your mother." She fished it out of her handbag. "She rang last night and told me to give you a big hug for today and tell you that she loves you. It's only a few weeks now and she'll be with us for the whole summer. She's so excited." Kate smiled.

Caroline opened the package and brought out three beautifully coloured wide bandanas. They would cover Kate's head nicely when the bandages finally came off in a few days. There would be staples in her scalp, but they would come out soon after once the bones began to knit.

"She bought them from a Nigerian woman who has a stall at her local craft market. They are gorgeous aren't they darling, so vivid, so well, African."

She handed them to Kate who fingered the material, and then smiled at Caroline.

She was desperately trying to stay up-beat for Kate's sake. Inside her guts were churning and her heart pounding. She just wanted today to be over, it was like the last major hurdle they had to jump; she hoped that with all her heart.

The theatre team came in and prepared to take Kate off for her surgery. The doctor came in to do a final check. He looked at Caroline and told her not to be too worried, he was confident all would be well; "She's a fighter Caroline, we can all see that. Even the way she looks at you and holds on tight to Flora, it's obvious she has so much to live for. She's not going anywhere." He squeezed Caroline's shoulder and then they wheeled Kate out of the room.

As the door closed, Caroline felt a desolation that was indescribable. All the reassurance in the world couldn't take away the fear she felt.

She strolled out into the hospital garden. It was a lovely spring day and the temperature surprisingly mild. She found a nice sunny spot and sat down on a bench. She pulled out a blanket and lay Flora on it; the baby gurgled and kicked, enjoying the freedom.

"She'll be alright, you know that don't you little one? Your mummy loves us both so much, she'll be coming back to us."

Suddenly she was aware of a shadow being cast across her. She shaded her eyes and looked up. Gillian was standing in front of her with two take away coffees.

"Thought you might like one of these." She smiled gently at Caroline.

"What are you doing here?"

"I didn't think you should be on your own today."

"No, it's not a good day for me as you can imagine. Kate went to theatre about twenty minutes ago. The op is only supposed to take about an hour, God I hope so." She twirled her phone constantly looking at the screen.

"Caroline, stop it, you'll hear it if it rings or pings or whatever the hell; I'm another set of ears. Drink your coffee."

She sat beside Caroline and they drank in silence.

Caroline reached for Gillian's hand and held it; without looking at her she said, "Do you know there's not a hint of trailer trash in you. You're the best step-sister I've ever had."

"Bloody hell Caroline, don't go mad will you. I'm the only step-sister you've got, unless me dad's got more secrets. You're not a bitch either, but you can still be snotty sometimes."

Caroline laid her head on Gillian's shoulder in a rare show of trust and affection. Gillian sat quietly and let her stay there. She wasn't used to this but she was desperate to be there for Caroline.

"I'd give anything for Kate to be back to her old self you know. I'd do anything, go anywhere; give up all the money and possession we have. But it's not that simple or easy is it?"

"No, no it's not Caroline. It is what it is."

Flora started to get grizzly; Gillian picked her up and wrapped her in a blanket. She rocked her and the baby settled a little. A few moments later, Caroline's phone pinged. 'Kate out of theatre all well, see her in half an hour'.

"Oh God, thank God." Gillian grabbed the phone to read the message. She beamed at Caroline and kissed her cheek which was now wet with tears.

They wheeled Kate back into the room. She was still soundly asleep, hitched up to a drip and a monitor again. "We'll keep her under close watch for the next twenty four hours, Caroline. By then she should be well and truly waking up. There was no sign of infection and the brain tissue looked well drained and healthy. It's looking good Caroline." As the doctor turned to leave the room, she hugged him and thanked him.

After an all night vigil by her bedside, Caroline got out of the recliner and stretched. She looked at Kate, who was still and sleeping, the continuous sound of the monitor a welcome background, each beat confirming the life within her, just waiting for the strength to shine brightly again. Or so Caroline hoped. She left the room to get a coffee. The hospital was just coming to life, day staff striding in and night staff leaving. The coffee machine gurgled and spat out a pretend cappuccino into a plastic cup. She wandered to the front door and outside to see the dawn rising. She contemplated how her life had changed so drastically in such a short space of time.

"Beverley, do you think I could see Caroline for a few moments before I go home?" Caroline's office door was open and she heard the request. Before her secretary could buzz through, Caroline shouted; "It's Ok Kate, come through."

She motioned for her to sit down and Kate began to discuss an issue she was having with a faculty member. She watched as Caroline hurled her pen onto the desk and say; "God not another issue with that prick, I'm so bloody over him."

Kate was utterly taken aback and Caroline could see that. "I'm sorry, that was uncalled for and somewhat unprofessional Kate."

"Are you OK?"

That was it. Those three little words, that one little phrase, and the obviously sincere way they were said. Yes, that was the beginning of where she was now. She had been so delicate, so raw and this beautiful woman had noticed and cared for her instantly. She hadn't stopped caring since, despite all that Caroline had put her through. Now it was her turn to care, and she knew that she loved Kate so much that the well would never run dry. She threw the paper cup in the bin and strolled back to Room 106.

She picked up Kate's hand and kissed it.

"That's nice." A faint murmur as Kate's eyes flickered open.

"Kate, darling did you just say 'that's nice'?" She was sure she'd imagined it.

Kate nodded.

Caroline kissed her and then laid her head on Kate's stomach. A hand moving very slowly, and with obvious great effort, lifted itself on to Caroline's head and rested there. The feel of it sending warmth pulsing through Caroline's body. It seemed to creep into all the dark places inside her that had been stripping her of life and happiness. It was a moment she knew she would never forget.

The days passed, Kate was now being lifted out of bed and put into a chair for several hours. Twice a day they would wheel her to the physiotherapy room and work on strengthening her muscles. She also had regular bouts of speech therapy. Today she was vacating Room 106. Caroline felt like they were leaving home. But this was good, Kate was going to the rehabilitation ward and if things went well there, she could be home within a month.

"Flora, Caroline, Gillian, Mum, "there was a long pause. Kate shook her head in frustration; she couldn't remember the young man in the photograph. "William darling, this is William."

The speech therapist had suggested that Caroline bring in familiar things so that Kate could begin to build her memory for people and things. She had printed photos of all the family, both hers and Kate's, and each day they would go through them. It was odd to Caroline that there would always be one or two people she wouldn't remember, but never the same ones as the day before.

After half an hour or so of this, Caroline helped Kate out of the chair and on to her walking frame. She looked rather lovely in her multi-coloured bandana. So many other patients had commented on them.

"Come on sweetheart; let's see how far we can go today. It's a lovely sunny day; shall we try for the front door?"

"Ok Caroline, I'll try." Sometimes Kate said things but there was a vacant look behind the speech, but this was never true when she spoke to her wife, or her baby. They shuffled along. Kate as yet was not strong enough to properly lift her feet. However distressing that may look, Caroline knew that all the carers were thrilled with Kate's progress and were very optimistic about the future.

After feeding Kate her lunch, Caroline settled in to the part of the day she loved. She drew the curtains around them and climbed on to the bed for their afternoon nap together. Kate snuggled in to her and was asleep within a couple of minutes. If she was in Caroline's arms, she never needed any help to go to sleep; a fact not lost on the staff. Caroline would repeat this before she left in the evenings and Kate would drift into a deep and peaceful sleep and Caroline would slide off the bed and creep out of the room.

"Wow, you're better than any sleeping meds we've got Caroline; I might borrow you after my night shifts." one nurse had joked with her.

The workmen were on time and all set to start installing the stair lift. The occupational therapist had suggested on her home visit, that Caroline set up a bed downstairs for Kate; she had even pointed out a spot she felt would accommodate a single bed easily enough. Caroline's response was swift and firm. "No way. My wife sleeps with me. There has to be another solution."

"Well there is Caroline but it would be expensive. You could install a stair lift and that would get Kate up and downstairs safely for the first few months."

The day she had been longing for had arrived. Her darling Kate was coming home. Ginika was arriving from the States the next day and so there was a band of willing helpers there, cleaning, ironing, making beds and cooking. The house was buzzing with excitement and anticipation. Even Lawrence was in the spirit and had gone out and bought a welcome home banner and was putting it up just inside the front door.

They all heard the unmistakeable noise of a heavy vehicle on the gravel drive and an ambulance pulled up outside. Caroline ran to the door and as she opened it, there she was beaming with joy, insisting on walking on her frame to the front steps. The officers then put her in a special chair to lift her inside. After unloading all her belongings, they wished Kate well and left.

All the visitors stood well back from the front door as they watched Caroline walk towards her, almost in slow motion; her arms outstretched, the tears flowing. She enveloped her wife, saying; "I am so proud of you my love, you are so brave, we're going to be alright, I know we are."

There was a lot of cheering and hugging and hustle and bustle. After having lunch together, Caroline gave the eye which was a pre-arranged code for 'Kate's had enough'. Slowly, one by one they all made their exit; even Lawrence had made arrangement to be away for the night.

Caroline had tried out the stair lift several times to make sure she understood how to balance Kate's body so she wouldn't topple over. She felt confident now. She eased Kate down onto the seat and pressed the button. A look of panic appeared on Kate's face as it started to move up the rail. Caroline noticed and quickly jumped on to the stairs and held on to Kate's shoulders and calmed her immediately. Just her wife's proximity was enough to make her feel safe.

After changing Kate into her PJs, Caroline helped her on to the bed and made her comfortable. Kate lifted her arm as high as she was able and waited for Caroline to fill the space. They lay, their bodies as close as possible, alone except for their baby daughter, for the first time in months. Kate looked deeply into her lover's eyes. "Thank you, I love you." It was Caroline who fell into a deep, peaceful sleep first.


	4. Chapter 4

**Only Her – Chapter Four**

Ginika was well and truly settled into Celia and Alan's flat. They had offered to go the farm while she was there so that she could have some space and, on the quiet, they were ready for a substantial break from all the trauma too. Flora was now well acquainted with her and happy for her Nana to take care of her. There was a lovely bond developing between them; some nights, she would stay with Ginika, to give Caroline and Kate a chance for some unbroken sleep. Caroline also felt more comfortable to leave the house and Kate for longer periods knowing that her mother was there.

The day Ginika first arrived it had been heartbreaking. Kate was not having a good day and she was unable to recognise her mother. Caroline could see her struggling, it was etched in her face, knowing that this was someone really important to her but just not able to find the memory. There had been tears all round and whilst Caroline had warned Ginika that this could happen, it was utterly distressing. However, the next day, when she set eyes on her mother, Kate had opened her arms "Mum, oh Mum," and the reunion was magic.

Caroline was next in line at the doctors, to see her GP. She thumbed through a magazine but nothing was going in. Her palms were sweaty and she was trying to construct the conversation she wanted to have so that she wouldn't fumble around.

"Caroline?" Lucy, her doctor smiled at her and ushered her through to her examination room.

"How are you Caroline?"

"Oh I'm Ok, Kate's coming on really well she's now able ..."

Lucy raised her hand up, "Stop; I didn't ask how Kate was, I know how she is going, I see her regularly remember? I want to know how you are."

"I'm a bit tired you know, but that's to be expected I suppose, and I still get very emotional, but overall I'm not bad. Now that Kate's mum's here I'm getting more space and a chance to have some good nights' sleep."

"I'm glad to hear that;you need to look after yourself. Love alone doesn't keep the old body ticking over. You need breaks, rest, exercise and a good diet. We've been over this Caroline."

"I know, but there's something else I wanted to talk to you about, it's a bit intimate and embarrassing but I need to sort it out."

"That's fine, go ahead." Lucy had a fair idea of what might be coming. She had been the GP for the two women since they moved in together and through the latter stages of Kate's pregnancy, and rarely had she seen such love and commitment. Since the accident and certainly since Kate came home, she had been in close contact, visiting at least twice a week. There was almost a pull to be part of their life; she knew something special when she saw it.

"There's no easy way to start so I may as well plunge straight in. I want her, I want to make love to her, I'm almost desperate. We lie in each other's arms and it's soothing and wonderful but more and more, I am finding it almost impossible not to touch her intimately. I'm craving her touch. It's been months now. But I feel guilty too. I don't want to force anything and put pressure on her."

"Caroline, it must be hard for you. I don't know you both that well personally, but even I can see how much in love you are. Try not to be guilty, I can understand it but it's normal that you would feel that way, I'd be surprised if you didn't!"

Caroline fiddled with her hanky, trying desperately not to open the floodgates. The pressure behind them was so great she had no idea how she would stop the torrent.

"Kate is at the point now where she knows everything you're saying to her, I think you just have to bring it up and try to gauge her reaction. Maybe you need to start peeling away some of the layers of cotton wool you've wrapped her in. She's strong enough to take some pushing now. Has it ever occurred to you that she might be feeling the same way? She might not want to ask because she knows you're so tired." She left the surgery feeling a lot better and with a new resolve.

She poured a cup of tea for herself and Ginika. Kate and Flora were asleep. "Ginika, I want to ask you a big favour."

"Sure, go ahead."

"Would you be able to take Flora for a couple of days and well, give Kate and me some space? There are things", at this point she could feel the blush rising in her face and neck; "we need to talk about and work through together, uninterrupted."

"Caroline, I understand fully what you're saying. In fact I thought you'd never ask! I've been dying to suggest it but worried that I might be overstepping the mark."

As they were finishing dinner, she broached the subject of their alone time. "Kate, your mother is going to take Flora for a couple of days and nights so that we can have some down time together."

Kate looked strangely shocked and worried. "Why, Caroline?"

"Oh you know, so we can talk and lie around and not have to focus on Flora so much. We can go for nice drives and afternoon teas and not have to carry all the paraphernalia, you know do spontaneous things."

Kate continued to look worried but she didn't say anything else.

"It's OK darling girl. It will be lovely for me to have my granddaughter all to myself for a couple of days, and you know I'm only next door if you get worried about her. Caroline has given me your car to use and I may take a ride up to the farm for the day tomorrow to see the others."

Kate blinked several time and then smiled rather benignly at her mother. "Ok." She turned to Caroline, "Lawrence?" She was assured Lawrence was with his father for the next few days.

Ginika picked up all the stuff she needed and after kissing them both, she left with Flora.

Caroline encouraged Kate to go into the sitting room while she cleared up. She picked up her sticks and began the slow walk. She was now able to walk without the frame but she was still not too sure footed. She could feel a horrible foreboding rising up in her and she was very afraid.

Kate's speech and vocabulary were improving all the time as was her memory; but it was only with Caroline she felt confident enough to try to string sentences together. If they got jumbled, Caroline always knew what she was trying to say and could straighten it out. With everyone else, she tended to stick to short phrases.

When Caroline finally arrived from the kitchen, she lit a row of Tea Light candles and brought in a bottle of Kate's favourite wine and two glasses. She put on some of their music and then tapped the sofa for Kate to come and sit beside her.

She didn't move from the chair she was on. A tear found its way down the side of her cheek. "Are you going to tell me that you're leaving me?" The sentence came out clearly but with great gulps in between each second word.

Caroline gasped. She shot out of her seat and flew across the room; "Whatever makes you think that?"

"It's too much for you. I'm too much for you."

Caroline knelt in front of her and could see the terror looking back at her. "You're my wife, my whole life; I'm nothing without you Kate."

"But, but I'm disabled, and I'm ugly now Caroline." She swept her hand across her body, pointing to the scars she wore. Now the tears were not discrete, they flooded down her face and she sobbed and gasped for air. "All you do is look after us and I can't do nothing for you."

Without thinking Caroline said, "Anything darling, not nothing." It was force of habit to correct her but this was not the moment; she regretted it immediately.

"See I can't even talk properly now."

Caroline felt sick. This wasn't how she expected the evening to start or God forbid finish.

She gently eased Kate off her seat and brought her over to the sofa. She lay her down and climbed on beside her. The sobbing was endless, it poured out of a profoundly hurt woman who had been restraining herself since coming home as she needed to be as strong and brave as she could for Caroline, her baby and her mother.

'Why didn't I think of this?' Caroline asked herself as she held her distraught wife. Because she didn't think like this, it never occurred to her that Kate might be feeling these things. She was just her beautiful Kate. She didn't care about anything other than her being alive, at home and beside her. But obviously it would be a profoundly life changing experience for Kate. Imagine waking up every day and not knowing if you were going to make it, if you were ever going to get back to your old self again.

She stroked her face and kissed her cheeks and mouth through the cascade of tears. "Oh sweetheart, its ok let it out. I'm here, I have you, I will always have you."

They lay tightly together until the sobbing subsided and Kate calmed down. Her red and swollen eyes looked deeply into Caroline's, it was as if she was searching to see if there was even a flicker that Caroline didn't really mean what she had said.

They woke up two hours later; exhaustion had got the better of both of them. As Kate stirred, she looked around;"Where's Flora Caroline?"

"It's OK she's next door with your mother, remember?"

She looked vacantly at Caroline and nodded. She had not been able to hold that piece of information but she relied on her wife and if she said she was safe, then that was enough.

"Let's go to bed, you're exhausted and lying cramped like this isn't good for you. Come on let's go up."

She helped Kate get undressed and into bed and brought her a glass of water. She then stood under the shower for at least ten minutes, letting let the warm water wash over the pain she had just absorbed.

Caroline came out of the bathroom and walked over to the bed. She put her hand under the pillow and searched for her pyjamas.

"Don't put them on, get into bed"

Kate had eased herself on to her side so she was facing Caroline who slid in between the sheets and lay searching Kate's face to see if she could gauge what was about to happen.

Kate reached out and gently stroked her face. "You wanted to tell me something tonight didn't you?"

"Yes I did; but maybe..."

She put her finger up to Caroline's lips. "Tell me, please, I can take it, I promise."

"I miss you; miss making love. It's a simple as that. I've been longing for you since the first day I was allowed to lie on the bed with you. But I've been telling myself that what I need is selfish. You probably aren't ready, physically or psychologically. But it such a longing, that it actually physically hurts. There I've said it now."

"I've been longing for you too. I thought you didn't want me. That's why I was so scared tonight. I even thought it might have been easier for you if I hadn't survived. Then I thought of our baby."

This was the longest conversation they had had so far.

They stared at each other silently both reaching into the soul of the other. Slowly and gently they began to kiss and caress each other. They both tumbled over the edge before they'd hardly started. It was all so close to the surface, so urgent. Caroline cried out with the sheer release of all her longing and pain. Kate watched and loved her as never before. She felt more alive than she had ever hoped would be possible since the accident.

As they lay basking in the oneness they felt; the renewed safety and optimism, Kate suddenly looked at Caroline with a little panic. "Caroline, Flora, she hasn't had her night feed, she'll be crying in a minute."

"No she's OK she's with your mother, remember?"

"Is she, when did she take her?"

"Tonight my love, after dinner."

"Oh OK, we'll see her in the morning then."

Caroline smiled. A minor blip in the grand scheme of their life.


	5. Chapter 5

**Only Her – Chapter Five**

Caroline woke and stretched, she turned to see Kate looking at her.

"Good morning, did you sleep well?"

"Yes I did and I've been lying here looking at you. Flora's with my mum isn't she?"

"Yes darling, they're going up to the farm."

"Caroline."

"Mm?"

"Can we stay in bed today?"

"Yep; but we have to have some breakfast and get your stretching exercises done." Not even losing an hour of loving time in bed would stop Caroline from doing Kate's exercises. The physiotherapist had told them they were vital to strengthening her upper body. She needed to put on some weight too; hence meals were also fiercely enforced.

"OK, but not yet;" she said as she snuggled into Caroline. "It was all over too quickly last night."

"Well, let's see what we can do about that."

Later after a shower and getting back in to their PJs, they went downstairs to have some breakfast.

As they ate, Caroline said, "Did I tell you how good Gillian was when you were in hospital?"

"I think so; I have memories of her coming to see me and sitting with me."

"She did that a lot. She'd arrive and push me out of the room to go and get some fresh air and a decent meal. She'd look after Flora and sit and chat with you. We did a lot of talking too. One day early on when things weren't looking too good, your cousin David was with you and I went to the farm for a break. She asked me about how we met and how we fell in love. I think she was trying to keep me focused on the good stuff."

"Did you tell her? What did you say?"

"Yep, I said it was mostly down to you and your kindness to me in the beginning and how much you cared for me when I was going through all the John shit. I've shared stuff before when things were rough between you and me; I told you about the night we got drunk together, the night you ended up looking after Lawrence; she called me a 'knob' for what I'd done to you at the hotel." Kate giggled. "Then I told her how she nearly ruined our first love making with the phone call about my mother's knickers."

"Caroline you didn't!"

"She was so kind; and one day I said to her that she didn't have an ounce of trailer trash in her; she in turn told me that I was not really a bitch but still snotty sometimes."

"That's true."

"What! Why do you say that? Give me an example."

"I can't, I can't think that fast you know that, but I'll tell you if you do it."

After cleaning up and doing Kate's exercises, they went back to bed. As they lay wrapped up in each other, Kate suddenly said; "I like Flora Grace McKenzie, it suits her doesn't it?"

"Aren't you forgetting something?"

"What?"

"McKenzie – Dawson."

"Caroline, you know people might think it's too long, even a bit 'swanky'."

"Why do you say that?"

"I don't know; but when I look at her, she looks McKenzie because she has dark skin like me."

"That's not logical Kate; a Dawson could have dark skin too."

"See now you're being snotty!"

Caroline just shook her head and began to cover her wife with soft kisses which deepened very quickly; after all there were months to make up for.

"Do you know something?"

"What?"

"It amazes me that despite you having some problems with your memory, you remember all the things and places that turn me on; exactly what I like; how to thrill me."

"I'm happy I do. I love you."

"Kate, do you have any memories of the accident?"

"I'm not sure. I don't remember how it happened. I know we were married, and you told me it was only one day before."

"Yes that's true. One day when you feel like it I can explain what happened, but I'm wondering if it's worth feeding all that bad stuff in if it isn't there now. What's the point, you might start to dwell on it and then it will make you depressed. Perhaps we'll wait to see what comes back to you."

"I just remember listening to you talking to me and then feeling Flora on my tummy."

Caroline's eyes glistened. "I was so frightened I would lose you, I begged every God there is not to take you away."

"Well I'm here now, well not completely yet, but I'm getting better aren't I Caroline?"

"You are yes and you're very brave as I keep telling you." It struck Caroline how child-like Kate seemed to be in her trust of her. She hung on every word, every decision she made and deferred to her most of the time. It was touching, but also worrying as Kate despite her gentleness, was fiercely independent.

The afternoon turned out to be lovely and sunny and Caroline suggested they go out into the garden to get some fresh air and sunshine for a while. She put down a rug and some pillows and they lay in the sun reading and chatting. Kate's concentration span was still quite short, but Caroline had loaded some talking books on to her tablet and she seemed happy to lie with her earphones in. She would drift in and out of sleep; her body still had a lot of healing to do.

"How do you feel about me going back to work?"

Kate thought for a while, "It's OK, I'll miss you but I think I'll be able to manage."

"We'll organise a carer to come in and help you with your shower and other bits that are still a bit difficult; someone who can help you with Flora too."

"Oh I won't need that. I'll be fine. I can look after Flora."

Caroline felt the tug at her heart. Kate was doing really well with the baby but sometimes she didn't have the strength to lift her out of the crib; Caroline always needed to be on hand and of course Flora was getting bigger and heavier now. This could prove to be tricky.

The next day they took a drive over to the coast. They walked along the seafront and sat in a shelter eating fish and chips and snuggling up against the wind coming off the sea. It brought the colour back to both their faces. "This is nice Caroline, we do stuff now that is easy and enjoyable and we do it together and I like that." It occurred to Caroline that this was true. They had got into a bit of a rut before they were married; if they went out, it was usually to the theatre or a posh restaurant somewhere. Kate was right; this was simple and easy but lovely.

Suddenly, Kate grabbed her arm. "I remember something Caroline."

"What darling?"

"The smell of fish and chips; something to do with the accident."

"I can't think what that would be." This was a lie. The shop that Kate had stopped at to buy milk was next door to a take away food outlet and they sold fish and chips. It sent shivers through her that all the horror may come back to haunt Kate. She quickly changed the subject and suggested they walk on a bit further.

Their last free night was glorious. They were both rested and relaxed. The fresh air had invigorated them. Now after luxuriating in a hot bath, they lay naked their arms around each other; their hands gently stroking warm silky skin.

"Caroline"

"Mm?"

"I feel safe now, thank you."

Nana and Flora had been at the farm for a day and had both had a lovely time with the rest of the family.

Ginika spent some time outside with Gillian , just the two of them. "You've been so good to Caroline and Kate. I do really appreciate that Gillian; you have so many other commitments."

"Yea well, she's me step-sister after all and I really love Kate. She's good for Caroline, she calms her down when she gets a bit uppity you know."

"Yes I've seen that, but she has been wonderful and so selfless looking after Kate and Flora. She's devoted. I'm not sure Celia still really approves. I think she still wonders if this is right for Caroline."

"Well I wouldn't worry too much about that. Caroline was miserable, like bloody miserable, when Kate broke up with her. They're right for each other and she's happier then she's ever been since I've got to know her. I just want Kate to get better Ginika; she's a lovely gentle, smart woman."

The next day Ginika had taken Flora to the park and had a long walk. She had enjoyed having the baby to herself but was getting a little tired and would be happy to give her back to her mothers the next day.

Ginika walked round to the kitchen door; it was late morning and she was bringing Flora home. As she approached the window she could see the two women, Caroline was leaning against the kitchen bench and kissing Kate very passionately. She was thrilled to see this spectre; she had noticed the tension, especially in Caroline; she waited before announcing her presence. They both looked up at her and beamed. Kate took Flora from her mother's arms and Caroline embraced her mother in law and thanked her quietly.

"You two look as though you've had a great time together."

"Yes mum we have, it's been lovely and I feel so much better."

Caroline smiled. Making love and gently talking to her about their future had seemed to give Kate peace and calmness. It had freed up a lot of tension and she somehow seemed more courageous, trying more conversation, moving more freely; she was much more bubbly. Caroline realised that Kate had been carrying so much fear, not only for her future, but of losing her.

Celia and Alan had come back to the flat for the last couple of days before Ginika left. She had moved back into the big house. The thought of leaving was taking its toll on both her and her daughter. She had come to see how much she was missing, living in the Sates. After all Kate was her only child and Flora would be her only grandchild. She'd been thinking long and hard about where her future lay. Kate was getting so much better, she was walking more confidently, the weakness in her arms was lessening and her speech and memory were coming back. However, they had all been to see the specialist the week before and he had made the point that, while he was thrilled with Kate's progress, it would be another twelve months at least before she was fully independent. Ginika had talked at length with Caroline about an idea she had, to be around to help for longer.

It was breakfast time the day after and when they had finished eating, Ginika said to Kate," Darling I've been thinking about the next twelve months. How would you feel if I go back to the States, sort my students out and then ask for a sabbatical year? I have tenure and so that would give me time to work out what I want to do."

Kate smiled, she looked excited but her eyes went immediately to Caroline as if she was seeking her guidance before speaking.

"I wouldn't live here with you all, I would get an apartment close by and then I can be near to help you and take care of Flora. Caroline can go back to work then if she wants to."

Kate waited, still looking at her wife. "What do you think Caroline?"

"I think we both want to know what you think. I'm happy with what you choose."

After reflecting for a few moments, Kate said," I think it's good Mum. We would like that, all of us, me and Caroline and Flora."

So it was settled. She would fly back the next day and hopefully be back just after the start of the new school year for Caroline. The decision gave Caroline and Kate a sense of relief and happiness. Caroline had really been struggling with the choice of going back to work or not. Kate was so much better, but there were still days when she needed a lot of help. Despite these setbacks, they remained very hopeful for the future.


	6. Chapter 6

**Only Her – Final Chapter**

 _Dear fanfic friends, this a short epilogue to this story._

 _Thank you most sincerely for all your reviews, suggestions, PMs and support._

Kate felt her heart flutter a bit when she heard Caroline's car crunching on the gravel. She looked at the time; six o'clock; yes she was on schedule and all was going well. "Mama's here;" she said to Flora who was sitting up in her high chair. The little girl looked towards the kitchen door and began to kick her legs with excitement. Kate rubbed her hands down the side of her apron and pulled it off over her head.

"Kate, darling I'm home." Caroline shouted in the usual direction of either the lounge or the staircase. As she was taking off her coat and hanging things up on the hall stand; she looked up to see her mother in law coming out of the lounge, dressed up and looking really smart; closely followed by Lawrence, coming down the stairs, changed into his best casual clothes.

"Oh wow, look at you two, what's all this in aid of? Where's Kate?"

Kate walked out of the kitchen and kissed her wife. "Mum and Lawrence are going out with Celia and Alan for dinner."

"What?"

"I'm taking them out to celebrate." Ginika announced.

"Oh, I see and Kate and ..." She was cut off by Kate, "It's OK Caroline, I'll explain and you'll understand. Why don't you go and get changed and I'll pour you a glass of wine." Caroline thought this was a rather funny situation but because she didn't know what it could be, she kept her mouth shut.

She returned to the lounge where Flora was propped up on the sofa waiting for cuddles with her Mama. She swept her up and lifted her high; the baby giggled as Caroline blew raspberries on her tummy, a game they both enjoyed.

"Now Mrs McKenzie, what's all this about; pointing to the wine in the cooler, and the special cheese platter?"

Kate picked a letter up from the table and handed it to Caroline without a word. Their GP Lucy had given it to Kate when she went for her appointment earlier in the day.

Caroline read the letter, her face intent on the detail. As she got to the end, her eyes moistened and she turned to Kate; "You're fantastic, you really are a rock star!" She pulled Kate into her and kissed her. "I'm so happy and proud of you."

The specialist had stated that as far as all her tests went, Kate's neurological function was normal and only a small on-going memory loss was observed with the expectation that it would resolve itself completely within a twelve month time frame. He noted that Kate was to be commended on all the hard work she had put into her rehabilitation, and also the dedication of her family in supporting her care.

"So now do you want to tell me what all this secrecy is about? Why are we excluded from the dinner out?"

"Darling, they've only gone out so that you and I could have this evening together. They are celebrating too; my good news, mum going back to the states soon and a few other bits and pieces, but mostly so that I could have you to myself."

She brought out a list of her day's activities; she handed it to Caroline; "In view of my on-going occasional memory loss."

'MY ACCOMPLISHMENTS FOR TODAY'

Making the bed

Doing the laundry

Looking after Flora – all alone

Sending many thank you emails to friends and family and sharing my good news

Bathing Flora and putting our daughter to bed

Making a beautiful, romantic dinner

Making love to my wife;

Caroline laughed; "What's with the list?"

"Just in case I had a memory lapse and left out all that I had accomplished."

"And the last one?"

"Just in case I forget to do it again and again and again!"

Caroline laughed; "As if we need any reminders! So what's this special meal you've cooked for me?"

Actually it's a very special African dish that my grandmother used to make for us. It takes a lot of preparation and so mum helped me a bit today, but I'm sure you'll like it Caroline."

"What's it called?"

Kate looked past her wife and stared fixedly for a few moments. "I can't remember; God it's only a couple of hours since I put the recipe book away."

"Don't worry, the name will come back. Just as long _kiss_ as you don't _kiss_ forget to make _kiss_ love to me _kiss_."

"Now that I won't forget; dinner now or later?"


End file.
